Still Trying

Yesterday I made some progress.  On the decluttering front, I completed Day 2, and since I completed Day 3 this past weekend, you can say I'm done for today also.  On the Infinite Possibilities challenge, I'm still trying to find visuals for a few of my yearly goals.  It's a bit tougher than I initially thought.  I've started a board on Pinterest to collect all the pictures, so when the time comes to create a collage out of them they will all be in one place.

I'm a bit concerned that being over two weeks behind on this, I'll end up losing out on the program, so I've copied all the text from the site's daily entries and am downloading the YouTube videos so they're available for me in the future.

Yesterday I began to read "Magical Path: Creating the Life of Your Dreams and a World That Works for All" by Marc Allen.  It's one of the books I've chosen as a guide for 2016 and is a book I've had for a few years now.  The first chapter is full of very useful meditations on the Middle Pillar and I've decided to go ahead and buy the Audible version so that I have them in a format that will allow me to listen and follow.  So I've finished with Chapter 1, and plan to read Chapter 2 today.

Back on Track?

Today was the day I set for myself to return to this blog - and allow for all the madness to take its course. I went to the clutter SparkPeople post and decided to have a go at it since the first day is the medicine cabinet and I was planning to do that today anyway.  Yesterday I organized my cosmetics. I've been receiving monthly subscription boxes and they have grown exponentially. I guess the plan to do the medicine cabinet jogged my memory of the post which jarred my memory of the blog.  Things in our mind are connected in non-linear ways sometimes, so it's always a chicken-egg argument.

In any event, all that is now done and I'm also turning my sights to the other challenge.  When last I left it - on the 4th, the plan was to find visual reminders of what you wish to achieve.  I'm still looking, but I've taken a picture of myself and placed it where I leave my keys and charge my phone.  It's an area I'm at often as I charge other electronics there also.  I think I will set up there the visual reminders.  It may take me a day or so, but whatever.

On the magick front, I got to get moving with that.  I'm going to set up a schedule to focus on this at a particular time of every day.  Trying to find time for it hasn't been working.

Just started reading "The Book of Mastery" by Paul Selig who receives clairaudient dictation from unseen intellects called the Guides - has quickly become the most important and celebrated expression of channeling since A Course in Miracles rose to prominence in the 1970s. Selig's three previous books - I Am the Word, The Book of Love and Creation, and The Book of Knowing and Worth - have won a growing following around the world for their depth, intimacy, and psychological insight. The Book of Mastery provides a deeply practical prescription for heightening your abilities, aptitudes, and sense of personal excellence.

The Book of Mastery provides a deeply practical prescription for heightening your abilities, aptitudes, and sense of personal excellence. The Guides' teachings go much further, however, instructing you how to improve life for others and, ultimately, for global humanity. As the Guides themselves put it: "We will tell you this: No one who reads these books will be left unchanged. They will be like molecular systems that reinvigorate and realign and reclaim the reader to themselves in their worth, in their identity and, beyond that, in their physical realm. Underline physical realm if you like. Because the physical realm that we teach in is about to go back to the stone ages unless you all get it together."

I took all that from the description at Audible.  I highly recommend Paul Selig's books - they are high quality channeling.

There is progress, and I'm eager for more!

Other A Year to Clear Clutter Questions

Jan 5:

What does your "new you" look and feel like?  Pretty much like the everyday me, but this me doesn't have incomplete things to feel bad about.  This me feels more in control and feels like she gets things done.

On the TUT challenge, I am still too busy to find the visual reminders. :(

Jan 6:
Can you imagine a life where there was no friction or resistance? What would that look and feel like?
No, I don't think it's possible to live a life without friction or resistance. We get triggered for a lot of things and sometimes this is good. Friction and resistance can give purpose, such as when one notices injustices.

Jan 7:
No question posed, but goes into why the course is slow and recommends you buy her book.  Okay, now I'm even more disappointed.

Jan 8:
No question or task posed.  Says that "Awareness changes everything: and that we should "Swish it around in your head space and heart space and see what happens. The theme for this week is "Inviting Awareness.".  WTF?

Jan 9:
No question or task posed. Says: "Clearing is not about fixing a problem or reaching for a solution.
It is all about how you relate to the experience. It is the space between the issue and the desired outcome where the real goodies are and where the real clearing happens.Allow yourself to contemplate this one today, even if you have no clue what it means."  ::facepalm::

Jan 10:
This was today's lesson in its entirety:
                              What are you feeling right this second? A little annoyed, to tell the truth.
                              Are you aware of any sensations moving through your body? Not really
                              Your hands: are they hot? Cold? Prickly? Tingly? No, No, No, & No
                              How's your breathing? Is it shallow, or deep? Is it tight or relaxed? Normal, normal, a bit tight b/c I'm annoyed.
                              Nothing to do but notice and allow all sensations to arise - without doing anything  to fix or change them
Jan 11:
Add awareness to weeding out the refrigerator, folding laundry, or talking to a difficult boss or family member. I already do this.

Jan 12:
Look up from this screen for a moment and scan the room you're in. What is one thing of beauty that calls your attention?For one minute allow your awareness to rest on the details: the shape, color, texture, sound, smell, weight. Notice if your attention changes what you see. Notice if your attention changes how you feel. How does it make you feel?
Crystals. They make me happy b/c I think they are pretty. They also remind me that I meant to put them together by category.

Jan 13: I give up. This course is terrible.

The Grind

The first day back at work was brutal.  Memo to myself: don't take a bunch of days off at the end of the year. Manage your time off better.

I expect to be buried for a while.  We are in panicked chaos mode. See you in about two weeks.

Continuing the "A Year to Clear What is Holding you Back" series from Daily OM which I'm trying to do each day, today's question is: How does "clutter" show up in your life?  For me, clutter turns up as incomplete things. Things that I started, but didn't finish. Things that I meant to put away, but got distracted. Things that I plan to do, but never actually start.

I have to say that I bought this course thinking it would offer practical daily de-cluttering guidance, but that hasn't been the case so far.  Perhaps the approach is to understand the psychology inside us that creates clutter, but from my point of view, I'd feel I can do both de-cluttering and psychoanalysis concurrently.  Contemplation is wonderful, but I think I already do plenty of that.  So, at this point in time, I'm disappointed that I shelled out $20 for this.

Meanwhile,  I have found a de-cluttering challenge which I think is pretty good over at SparkPeople:  Declutter Your Home in 30 Days some of the "days" are things that I can do in about 15-20 minutes, like the medicine cabinet and shower; others the "day" could take several hours to complete, like the clothes closet and craft items. I'm happy to devote a weekend afternoon to either of these.  Going through my books, for instance, is a yearly task that takes several weekend days to complete. 

Anyway, I will continue the Daily Om course - especially since I paid for it - but I think I'll just put everything in a draft document to post at a later time.

And I'm still doing the Infinite Possibilities 30 Day Project from TUT, but I have to admit, I got stuck yesterday at putting an emotional connection to my goals.  I'm too cerebral, I guess. I finally put it in a spreadsheet, and was able to come up with at least 5 for each.

Today, I'm to find and place around me visual reminders of what I hope to accomplish.  Too busy right now.

The Quiet Before the Storm

This is it.  The last day of my 10 day vacation.  Tomorrow is back to work, back to the craziness of my daily life.  Sooo not looking forward to it.  I guess I need to improve my attitude.

Tomorrow also marks the end to the lolly-gagging.  I've given myself this time to not put any demands on things to be done and patiently wait for Mars to enter Scorpio to get some things going.  Mars entered Scorpio today. Time to rev up the engines and go somewhere!

Today I did a Tarot spread which I taught my students yesterday.  It's a 3-Step process and I won't get into too much detail here but the first step is to determine where you feel  you are, where you would like to be at the end of the year, and what do you think you need to do to get from one point to the other.  I selected these three cards:

Basically I feel that I've been having too much fun lately at the expense of my physical well-being and would like to regain physical strength and endurance.  In order to do that, I need to come up with a manageable plan.

The second step is where you take the "goal for 2016" card and place it at the top, and then select 4 cards which represent supporting goals to the top goal. Having done that, the deck is shuffled and cards are drawn and placed from bottom to top. The first card represents where you are starting from, the second two cards represents your beliefs and the third group of three represents specific action to take to fulfill the supporting goals.  Not going to get into any analysis here, but the actions to take seem to be partnering with others, getting back to nature, visualization, and having a way to track progress such as creating metrics.  All of those appeal to me.  My beliefs, are a bit contrasting however, I believe in making a list/plan as to what to do specifically, but I also believe that I should just enjoy myself as much as I can.  The last card just shows that my starting point is a stable and abundant life.

Lastly, I like to look at the "shadow" card which is usually found at the bottom of the deck after the cards have been cut and the spread has been laid out.  It tends to either offer advice or give added insight to the issue at hand.  It is letting me know that I need to control my inner chatter - whether it tells me to go ahead and enjoy myself, or whether it's telling me that I can't reach my goals.  I need to tune that out and stick to what I know to be true.  That if I follow a plan, the plan will take me where I want to go.

Following all this, and starting tomorrow, I will choose from  either the top goal card or any one of the supporting goal cards as my goal for the month.  I will look at it in the morning to remind myself what my goal is and then I will shuffle the deck, draw a card, and follow the advice the card is offering me for that day that helps in the attainment of the goal.  This is done every morning for a month, and then the exercise is repeated from the beginning the following month and so on and so forth.

I also gave my students a weekly check-in spread, as well as a monthly brainstorming one.  As I do this, I will post.  I know blog has a lot of Tarot posts lately, but tomorrow it's back to work, and that includes magick work.

I'm also in the process of decluttering. I do this off and on. How I hope to feel as a result of clearing what no longer serves and supports me is peaceful and in control.  When things are awry I cannot think clearly. What I hope to let go of is being frustrated with myself for not doing a better job at keeping things straight. What I hope to attract is calmness and better organizing habits.

I also did finally come up with a theme for 2016: "Staying On Track". Now I need to come up with a list of exciting things that I expect to happen because I met my goals for the year.

End of Day Tarot Life Spread

The Tarot class was awesome! The class was about how to use Tarot to set goals, actions towards your goal, and how to stay on track with them.  My intention was to do the exercises for myself afterwards, but I was too tired to even think about it.  Probably tomorrow.

Since this serves as a journal of sorts, I've decided to use this to keep track of Tarot Life daily spreads.  The internal spread has the Knight of Cups - Conviction as to what to avoid, which I believe suggests not letting myself get off track emotionally, or fritter time in idle pursuits, and to allow the space for myself to demonstrate my convictions.  Then we have the Six of Wands - Triumph in the what to do position, which says that in order to achieve victory over inner conflicts, I should become open to all experiences so as to use them to strengthen my ultimate goals, and to be clear and truthful about my motives and aims.  Perhaps some visualization of myself triumphing over my present obstacles would also be advised.

The external spread has the King of Pentacles  - Power based on Position - there is a man sitting in front of an open vault full of money. For me, I value knowledge, and it's telling me that it's not about how much knowledge I have, but what I do with that knowledge.  To make use of the information I have, I must enter the frame of mind that allows me to use it and act to achieve new results. Don't accumulate knowledge, but use it.  The second card is the first Major Arcana to turn up - The Fool - the search for one's destiny. Consider that I'm beginning a new process, and leave the past behind. Create inner calm and channel my energies constructively. It's time to act, to take a step into my future.


Pretty good cards, I may think of something else tomorrow. Right now I'm beat!

2016 - Other Influences

There are a few things I'm following at the start of this year. One is The Infinite Possibilities Project. I've been receiving daily emails from TUT for many years now and like the optimistic, up-beat messages.  Day One has you being clear about what you want from 2016. For me, it's quite simple as I always align my goals with my yearly Solar Returns.  This year the focus is on my VI house of health, daily habits, and service and the focus is going to be on those daily things we all do that may not be very glamorous, but are the foundation of our lives. 

Particularly, I will focus on losing weight, which will improve my health and to do so I will need to change what I eat on a daily basis (diet is a VI House matter), I plan to work on my daily habits of practicing Magick and meditation, and I plan to change jobs (which is how most people today are "of service").  Mars is presently transiting my natal VI House, bringing energy and willpower to support these efforts, so I have about two months to really get the ball rolling on this and then it will become self-powered.. Also, Jupiter will be transiting my natal V House until the Fall of 2017, and it's a good time to put more energy into promoting my own business, so I'll be also working on creating daily habits that further this in 2016.

I have selected a few books which will guide me through 2016.  The first is "The Book of Mastery" by Paul Selig, which will be released in a few days.  Other books are "Soul Shifts: by Barbara De Angelis, "Dream Alchemy" by Ted Andrews, and "The Hero and the Goddess" by Jean Houston.  I will, of course, continue to study Magick, both through "Modern Magick" as well as using Jason Miller's program/books.  Plus a few others here and there.

Today I'm teaching a Tarot class about using Tarot to set and follow through with one's goals. I will be recommending Tarot Life 1, which I've done for myself for two years now. As well as other exercises that I feel will help people define goals, define actions, and stay on track.

It Wasn't Time Yet

Hopefully now it is. No way to tell until I get started again, which I'm doing so now.  There have been a lot of changes in the past year. I think I'm clearer on what it is I want and more determined to go my own particular way.

Today is the New Year's Day, and like most people, it's the holiday when we stop and take stock on the directions we are headed and whether we're meeting the goals we desire and/or have set out for ourselves.  So, of course, I too am involved in this.

What was 2015 about for me? Work, work, and more work. Also death and crochet. Strange combination but the way that works is that several friends passed and I retreated into crochet to deal with it.  I've created 6 or 7 blankets, a few shawls, and not sure what else in the past 8 months. It's given me a lot of time to think and to also contemplate how it's consistent action which produces results.  I mean, we all already know that, but it becomes very noticeable when there is a tangible product at the end of it.

Internal work isn't always as quickly obvious. The effects can be subtle and almost imperceptible until we arrive at a point where we realize we are not the same as we once were any more.  Until then, we move forward hoping to become aware of the benefits of our consistent efforts.

Even though this is a public blog, I don't really expect anyone to read it.  So I will be posting whatever suits me that is metaphysical in nature. For starters, I resumed the Tarot Life series of books as I have done in the past two years.  This year though I'll be using two decks one for internal work, the other for external work.  My "Destiny Card" is based on my birthday and is the Two of Pentacles every year, but I've chosen the ones which art resonates best with my goals and where I'm at.  The point is to use the "destiny card" in one's morning contemplation/meditation.

Internal work: Navigator's Tarot of the Mystic Sea: "Remaining stuck in old patterns and unproductive ways of behavior is not conducive to personal growth. You need support from partners and friends to work toward a successful outcome in business or creative projects after you have organized your enterprise carefully" The word above is "permutation", which is a mathematical concept where elements are arranged and/or rearranged in a specific order. It also means transformation and alteration. This is a very "Gemini-looking" card and I really think it represents me well. One person is holding on to the disk, the other is tossing it or levitating it, whichever you prefer.  It speaks to the tangible and the intangible.

External Work: Law of Attraction Tarot; "Indecision: Something is Brewing. A young woman finds herself at a crossroads and is clearly undecided about which way to go. Perhaps to the right, giving precedence to common sense and inner discipline or to the left, giving free rein to the bizarre, the fascinating and mystery that lies within her. Many people cling to what they achieved long ago, but some are afraid to dream because they fer failure, and therefore, won't take responsibility for successes as well as failures."  The card is one of a person weighing their options and trying to choose the right one that will get them to where they want to go.  Will they go the fast one or the scenic one?  Will you wander about a bit and have some fun, or just get to business and be efficient? 

The way this works is that each day two cards are drawn at the end of the day. One is placed on the left and the other on the right. The left one speaks to how to avoid getting side-tracked and the one on the right to what to do to stay on track.  Left: Ace of Pentacles - Generation: there is more to life that worldly fame and going after money, pursue spiritual riches. Right: 3 of Swords - Desolation: Opening up to the root cause of pain/fear will banish it for good.  Allow yourself to feel sorrow and build a new foundation on the surprising results of discovering your inner self. I think it's trying to say that I should not allow things to distract me from the work of getting in touch with the internal work that needs to be addressed.  It's so easy to get distracted and to disappear into hobbies, work, entertainment, friends, etc. The pain and fear which is inside us is what prevents us from moving forward.

And in today's case the card that can sidetrack for internal work is the card that keeps me on track for external work!  How is that for interesting?

Left: Two of Wands - Restlessness: the need to put an end to hesitation. Change means taking risks, exploring unknown territories and living with uncertainty for a period of time.When discomfort becomes unbearable and the benefits you stand to gain outweigh the possible disadvantages, it's time to act.  Right: Ace of Coins - Healing: To be rich is a lifestyle that offers more opportunities, more freedom, and more choices. To become rich is not a privilege granted to a few, but a question of having the right approach to life and being aware that you create your own destiny. This is a very clear message to me that I should move forward with changing jobs.

Now it's time for Sherlock! I've been waiting ALL DAY!!!